Matrimonial Investigations: What to do if you suspect a cheater?

When you take your wedding vows, the seriousness of the contract you are entering into is often overshadowed by the romance and giddiness of the day. It is a beautiful moment, one that you cherish. But when you suspect that your partner has broken these vows, amidst the emotional turmoil you experience, you may need help ascertaining the objective truth.

Confronting your partner is not always the best or the safest way to do this. They could easily claim their innocence, making their responses unreliable. They may even become angry at the accusation, particularly if you are wrong in your suspicions.

So, what can you do?

By asking for an outside perspective, devoid of bias, you can find out the answers you need. A Private Investigator can do this for you discreetly, understanding the sensitive nature of the issue. Matrimonial surveillance is just one service that I offer and it entails a variety of different techniques.

We may begin by looking at your partner’s activity online or via phone (texting and calls). This is often what raises initial suspicions in these cases, so it is important to ascertain the validity and motives behind these communications. I will also likely follow your partner, with the aim of snapping undeniable photographic evidence of their infidelity. It is important that you prepare yourself mentally for this possibility as this can be very distressing, even if you already have strong suspicions that this is the case.

Facts and figures

In 2017 just over 102,000 divorces were granted and adultery was the reason for more than 11,000 of them. [source] If the findings of our investigation sadly result in divorce, there are a few things you need to consider:

In the UK, you must prove the ‘irrevocable breakdown’ of a marriage to be granted a divorce. Proving infidelity is one way of doing this and your Private Investigator can act as a witness during proceedings

You cannot use adultery as grounds for your divorce if you stay living with your partner for six months or more after infidelity is proven. So, you must act fairly quickly once an investigation has concluded.

Adultery is defined by law as ‘extra marital sex between a man and woman’. If they cheat with the same gender, it is classed as ‘unreasonable behaviour’.

Infidelity guarantee a divorce settlement in your financial favour, so think carefully about your options.

If you decide to name the person your partner committed infidelity with, this can slow things down and end up costing more. As tempting as it may be to ‘name and shame’ I do not recommend doing so as part of the legal proceedings.

Protect yourself

Divorce proceedings can obviously go much more quickly and smoothly if you have a pre-nuptial agreement in place. Often seen as being pessimistic, cynical or even ‘unromantic’, getting a pre-nupt in place before the wedding day is like getting any other kind of insurance before entering a lifelong and legally binding contract. Divorce settlements can become quite messy and emotion driven; having a pre-nupt means that agreements have already been made in the case of a marriage’s breakdown.

Whatever the results of your PI’s investigation, you may find that you want to seek counselling – either for yourself or as a couple. The charity organisation MIND can recommend different options for you to explore, including talking therapy.